Hey Sid!

Cocktail attire?

Hey Sid!

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“I'm going to a fundraiser that's sort of an upscale party at the New York Athletic Club this month. The invite says 'cocktail attire'. My guy friends say that means a blazer but I'm not sure about all the other stuff (tie or no tie? shoes? jeans??) Any rules of the road here? For additional context, this is a rowing fundraiser so I'm pretty sure there will be some colorful dressing as well (some guys wear rowing blazers, which I don't have.)” – Duncan
Ann and Sid at a cocktail party in NYC in the late 80s. Ann is in a white top, a pink silk skirt, and tights, and Sid is in a dark sport coat, dark trousers, a light-colored dress shirt, and a pink and purple paisley silk tie.
navy blazer + colorful tie = Sid's cocktail formula since the 80s

Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, Duncan. This is a monthly column, and based on when your note came in… I think we may be a little late to the draw. I hope you had fun. But for all your future Cocktail Attire™ needs… and all the other guys reading… I'm here for you. Dress codes can be tr-tr-tricky, and "cocktail attire" in particular has a lot of range. Here, we're using some context clues to narrow down your choices. Because it's held at an athletic club, and it's themed around a sport, I'm thinking it's not going to be super-duper formal. (There are probably about six more venue-specific columns we could do about this.)

My thesis is… you need to wear a tie. (Unless they're specifically calling for "cocktail attire, no ties" — which you sometimes see.) Regardless of what your guy friends are saying or wearing, if just one guy shows up in a tie, you'll be like shoot, I should have worn a tie. And if NO other guys show up in a tie, you'll be like, cool, I'm the boss. A tie does not have to be overly formal if you're wearing it with a sense of ease and you feel comfortable in it… especially with a blazer. Your guy friends are right on that front; I wouldn't recommend a suit here. The sport coat (vs. a full suit) is going to give you a slight sense of looseness to balance out the tie, and it'll give you some space for a fun pair of pants. If that's your jam. More on that in a minute. Here, I think a coat and tie and odd trousers is your move. And loafers. Not jeans.

And my tie edict really just means some kind of neckwear. For me personally, that's a necktie. I'm not as much of a bowtie guy myself… but when I see a guy that's really rocking it, like Randy Hanauer, it can look really cool. Bottom line, a bowtie is totally acceptable for cocktail attire in my book. If that's your thing, go for it. (Probably not with the rowing blazer, unless you really know what you're doing.)

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about the blazer. For me, a navy blazer is just about as good as it gets. A confident, sure, and solid choice. Almost any other sport coat will work, too, but navy's easy. And if we want to keep it super simple, a navy blazer over a white shirt is an excellent foundation. (Not only for cocktail dress codes, but most things.) I've talked about how much I dig a white shirt before, and here I think poplin and roxford work equally well. Whichever one you prefer. I wear both; I own both. It just looks clean. You could go with a super-light blue or pink if you feel like shaking things up a little, but again, making your shirt a blank canvas gives you some leeway to have some fun with the tie and/or the pants.

Because that's how you're going to put these things together without just looking like you're going to the office. You're either going to go with sober tie + colorful trousers, or colorful tie + sober trousers. A striped tie, a solid colored knit, any tie you own and like will be great here. The first option is going to be a little more front-and-center — lots of mingling at these kinds of things, so the fun tie can serve as almost a nametag. An icebreaker. It's a bit counterintuitive, but going for the colorful pants is almost a subtler approach. Everyone sees your tie, but especially if it's super packed in there, not everyone's gonna see your pants.

For the pants. I like to dial these up by season, which means that if you're in early spring, I would not go too bright. More pale, medium-saturated colors. Save the true GTH pants for summer — after Memorial Day, even. But we're in mid May, so we can go pink, we can go kelly green, we can go cornflower blue. It is the season for Nantucket Reds. But I know not everyone likes to make a statement with their pants, so there's no shame in going the other route and sticking with a very solid pair of mid-grey or charcoal trousers. I'm wearing a pair today myself.

On that note, here are a couple of outfits that I'd for sure wear if I had a rowing event at the NYAC coming up. Two colorful tie options, two colorful trousers options, and one wild-card option that goes a tad heavier on the color. It feels like the spruciness of that jacket doesn't compete with the pants… and I can't help myself when it comes to green and blue.

All five of these are festive and colorful and even a little on-theme without going for the rowing blazer. (I don't own one, either! I'm not a rower. Don't sweat it!) The real fun is going to be in your heart and in your head, anyway. As always, do not be slow to the dance floor, make sure your date is well attended to, and have fun.

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