Hey Sam. Thanks for writing. I love a tricky dress code question.
Man, September in Maine sounds dreamy. I used to think of spring as wedding season although recently I’ve heard that fall is now THE time for nuptials. Ann and I had a winter wedding and let me tell you… Mississippi in December was not the most compelling destination for our guests. At least before they got there. We brought a whole crew from New York who got a real kick out of the Southernness of it all. It was fantastic.
Anyway, let’s get into it. While I love a tricky dress code challenge, your question actually puts me in a difficult position. Because what I’d do is exactly what they asked you not to do… I’m wearing a tie. I love to wear a tie. It’s a respect thing. I like to dress my best for a special moment. And what could be more special than two people joining their lives together forever? It’s a celebration! But don’t worry. My advice to you is gonna respect the ask while also giving you a backup plan. Because I suspect you’re gonna see a couple of ties in the mix, maybe on some older gentlemen, and you’ll be like… shoot… that could be me. (Being the guy in the tie is a power move.)
On its face, this presents an opportunity to have some fun with your jacket. Good timing, because we’ve just gotten in a bunch of really killer seasonal sport coats… all of which would be awesome for a fall wedding. And they all look great without a tie. But they’ll all look great with a tie, too. So each of these rigs has a corresponding knit tie that you’re gonna roll up and keep in your pocket. (Silk knits are great for this because you have to work really hard to wrinkle them, and they hardly take up any space once you roll ‘em.) So you’ll proceed with the jacket-shirt-trousers combo as prescribed, but you’re going to keep an eye out for the tie guys. And if you feel like the moment is right, you’ll excuse yourself, run to a mirror, tie a quick four-in-hand, and return to your date looking a little more trussed-up.
We chose the tie colors to link up with each jacket, but the rest of the pieces are interchangeable. For ease, we kept all the shirts blue and all the trousers grey. And a white pocket square in everything… it’s always right. Wear the Chelseas if the weather is a little chilly or the vibe is a little outdoorsy, go for the loafers if it’s on the warmer side or you're indoors. Personally, I’d probably go with socks for late September in Maine, but follow your heart (and the weather forecast).
So each of these rigs gives you the option of looking great with an open collar… but you’ll also be prepared to release the Kraken and tie one on.
My other wedding advice, in addition to the emergency tie plan: be early to the dance floor. And dance around. Ask the older women to dance. Dance on your own. Dance with the one you brought. Have a good time (and make sure the couple knows it… and how happy you are to be included.)
