I love this question and your style. Four! Wow. Rock on. Clothes are meant to be worn and loved and it's the highest compliment to know ours are doing both of those things, even (and especially) if they're getting a little roughed up in the process.
So I guess my quick answer to you is something I say over and over again: wear your good things. Clothes are washable, kids are washable, and patina is a memory. If you end up with a scuff on your sleeve, you've made a memory with your 6-year-old, and that's cool. And if that becomes permanent damage, you can retire it to weekend status or kid uniform status. For me, the light-colored things you mentioned (white shirts, khakis) aren't off-limits either. Even before kids entered the mix, I used to be really bad about carrying a fountain pen in my shirt pocket. Ann was always dealing with my ink stains. The ones that couldn't be saved just became my Saturday shirts or my under-a-sweater shirts.
Just to level-set here: you can look presentable, and you can look cool, but you're not gonna look pristine, and that's okay. This is a season of life and they're not going to be this messy (or this small) forever. At the same time, wear is a sign of working and living in your clothes… whether children are in the mix or not. My kids are grown up and I still end up with a few wrinkles and my shirttail untucked by the end of the day. There are a few things you'll want to set aside before you start roughhousing — even Mr. Rogers went into play mode by changing into his cardigan and sneakers — but overall, most clothes are more resilient than you think.
You're exactly right about jeans. In addition to those, I have another pair of relatively child-proof pants for your consideration: grey high-twist wool dress trousers. It may sound crazy, but stay with me here: wool can take it. It was a sheep at one point; it can handle a little nose stuff. Any color high-twist will work, but I like the mélange of charcoal grey because it can act as camouflage… plus it's got the versatility of blue jeans (seriously) but not in 5-pocket form. I know you were looking for some summer options and any natural-fiber shorts will do the trick there. Not to keep repeating myself, but that's what the washing machine is made for.
The overall theme here is natural, hardworking fabrics. Synthetics don't breathe so they can actually hang on to odors and non-water-based spots more stubbornly than the natural stuff. So wool is your friend here. Cashmere is your friend. 100% cotton is your friend, as long as you quickly treat spots. Grease and food needs to be washed out quickly, and Google can help you figure out how to treat it in a pinch better than I can… I know you're not pulling up the Sid Mashburn website when someone's wiped pizza sauce on your shirt. Generally speaking, fall fabrics are really good for this: cotton corduroy, wool sweaters, tweedy sport coats. I'd say for your shoes, leather is a bit better than suede — unless it's super roughed-out suede — because it's so easy to polish up. Leather's at its best when it looks like a piece of antique furniture, like it's got some history to it.
A couple of things I'd avoid around your kids: neckties. They'll yank on it or get food on it and ties are a little bit fussy to clean because you've gotta send them out. (For the record, TieCrafters is our go-to.) Unless it's a dark-colored knit tie, which can absorb a lot, just take it off when you're pulling into the driveway.
Another thing to be careful with: a tuxedo, dinner jacket, or anything black-tie-related. You do not want your kids' fingers on silk lapels or on a pique bib. If you're wearing a tux, hug them and kiss them from behind and hit the road.
So my main advice here is lean into natural fibers and lean into a little bit of mess. At the end of the day, it's a good message to impart to your kids: our clothes are not so precious that we can't enjoy them. It's nice to wear things you love with the people you love. ♫ Shower the people you love with love. Show them the way that you feel. ♫
