We all know the ultimate silk scarf. Le Carre Hermès. The time and artistry that goes into each one is incredible and fantastical and romantic… and they are a treat to collect and wear. My own collection is small but wonderful, dating back to 1987 when Sid got me one as a peace offering for a particularly tough fight soon after we got married. It was an extravagant gesture, but it was meant to be extravagant.
I love the psychologist Harriet Lerner. In the most recent of her many great books, she lists nine essential ingredients of a true apology. I know for a fact that Sid is not clued into Dr. Lerner or her many dances… but even way back then I can give him credit for instinctively knowing the importance of ingredient #3: It includes an offer of reparation or restitution that fits the situation.
He had hurt my feelings… he was offering reparation for my pain. Big hurt, big gift. And the thing I love about that particular gift is its permanence. Flowers are lovely… but they eventually get thrown in the trash. A silk scarf that you can wear forever… for me that is a better kind of restitution. I get to think of making up after that fight every time I wear it, or even see it folded in my drawer. The pattern is not the very coolest, but the scarf is absolutely my favorite one I own.
Others have made their way into my scarf drawer, big ones and small ones from various duty-free airport shops, often purchased by Sid on the way home from sourcing trips early in his career. Not as apologies, but as memories to sit folded alongside all the others. And some are picked out by me as a souvenir from my own sourcing trips, now that we have started a business together. I open my scarf drawer and it is full of colors and patterns, and symbols of occasions. MEMORIES.
And while Hermès scarves are very special, there are other beautiful silk mills in the world. In fact, the Italians would tell you that they are the true masters of the craft. Sid has been working with these makers in Lake Como for years. It is truly one of his most favorite things in the world to sit in their office back rooms and go back and forth on the designs of his ties. He can sit for hours sifting through the archives and poring over slight differences in stripes and foulards and decos. Or over which color flower will coordinate with the most dress shirts. How much negative space is best with a particular club design. It is an art and a science… and frankly over my head. On the one and only family trip to Italy, he took a day to visit the mills and dragged daughter #3 along with him while the rest of us went on a hike. I am not sure about Daisy, but he had a ball.
Now it is my turn to make our version of something similar. Our first silk scarf collection is produced by Como’s storied silk mill Mantero, which has been in business for 120 years. The squares are a wonderful size. We made two sizes, 65cm and 90cm, both wonderful — not a small pocket square, but not so big as to be unwieldy. They are hand-rolled and just the most fantastic little piece of luxury.
We pulled a Sid and combed through their archives, which are MASSIVE, with more than 10,000 swatch books… 60,000 scarves… and several thousand hand-drawn designs, tests, patterns and prints and jacquards. So, so many amazing designs to work with and choose from, but we narrowed it down to just seven. Each of them hits upon a particular favorite style for me…
Western: We chose three colors of a very simple bandana-style pattern. Green, pink, and brown. I love the idea of taking something typically rendered in cotton and used to wipe sweat from a brow… and transforming it in silk. Talk about high-low.
Bohemian: Another wonderful high-low contrast with this block print inspired by Indonesian and Indian batik cotton.
Playful: This very sweet “conversational print” (tie language) of sketched hearts feels a bit Japanese to me. No idea why I think that, but I do! I suppose it is a bit kawaii to wear hearts as a grown woman.
Classic: The most traditionally Italian of them all is this paisley in a very American red, white, and blue colorway… and its striped friend in a richer blue and brown. It is the one that reminds me most of borrowing Sid’s pocket squares, just bigger (and better!)
(Well — I shouldn’t say better. Just different. I like the way pure silk drapes around my hair or my neck, but Sid does not make 100% silk pocket squares. Wool, yes; linen, yes; cotton all day long. And silk blended with those fibers, sure. But all silk is not his style and one thing I love about Sid is that he really sticks to his guns on things like that. Men can buy them somewhere else. Bonus shopping hack: do you ever look at the men’s selection of pocket squares? They are excellent as a neckerchief or ponytail adornment… although a bit small to do anything else.)
So I wear scarves often and happily, and will wear these new ones extra so. They nearly always “go” — even and especially when they don’t — so they are an easy way to add a bit of extra to whatever you are wearing. No overthinking. And speaking of overthinking, I often hear women say that they don’t know how to tie a scarf. No excuses. Now there are tens of thousands of tutorials out there on Instagram or TikTok or YouTube or wherever you get your scarily addictive shortform videos. Just search “tie a scarf” and you will see. They can show you better than I ever can.
They are the lowest-effort style makers I know. They hit your senses, and not just your heart as a memory or an apology. I love how they can FEEL warm to the touch when you take them off. I love how they often SMELL a bit like your detergent or perfume or even your hair. I know that my daughters remember the SIGHT of me from behind at the park, in nondescript jeans and clogs and a t-shirt but a bright silk scarf tied in my ponytail. Not so much as a signature, just a slapdash attempt at style when racing out the door with them. A scarf is good for that. And these beautiful, hand-rolled, Como-silk scarves will be really good for that. You need one, or a few. I promise.
